


Words

by goldfishsunglasses



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Drabble, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-18
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2018-05-02 05:33:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5236166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldfishsunglasses/pseuds/goldfishsunglasses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan's relationship with words. Inspired by The Avett Brothers "I and Love and You"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Words

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Слова](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5263490) by [McRever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/McRever/pseuds/McRever)



Words are a funny thing. 

Letters come together to form words that mean things, that convey thoughts and feelings, both good, and bad, and inbetween. 

Words come together to form sentences, sentences come together to form paragraphs, paragraphs came together to form books, to form letters, to form conversations. 

Words bring people together, and words drive people apart. 

Words can drive people so far apart that it feels like they'll never be together again.

Words are a funny thing.

Dan Howell expressed himself best through words. Ever since he was a child, ever since he came into the world, small, and red, and shrieking, already making it clear how he felt with the sounds that left his mouth.

Dan Howell showed his affection through words. His affection came in the form of compliments, of warm sentiments, of "I love you's". 

The "I love you's" flowed constantly. 

They were murmured with husky morning voices, in sleepy night murmurs. They were shouted with excitement, whispered with adoration, used to boost confidence, and lift moods, and they hardly ever stopped.

They came and they came and they came and they came, so many, so many, so many, and so often, that it bordered on excessive, but their frequency never dulled the meaning. Phil felt and cherished every one as if he was hearing it for the first time.

When Dan Howell was angry, he used his words to fight. When Dan Howell was angry, the whole world knew it. He confronted, he yelled, he threw daggers in the form of sentences, aimed to hurt. 

They were effective, his word daggers, they never missed their mark.

He would regret them later, but that's the thing about words, they can never be taken back, not really. The wounds are there, always there. They can be covered with more words, hidden away and forgotten about, but always there.

Sometimes the healing words don’t come, and the wound is allowed to fester. The wound is allowed to fester, and it rots, and it decays, until it is beyond repair, beyond fixing, beyond apologies. 

Dan Howell had only ever experienced that once, only witnessed the aftermath of his words slowly eating away at the person he loved most in the world, once. Only watched it tear, watched it rip, watched it mutilate, once. 

Once.

And that was enough.

Dan Howell could do many things with his words, but asking forgiveness was the one thing that caused his words to falter, to leave him, to betray him when he needed them most.

"Phil...I..."

Phil handed him his mug, marshmallows already melting into the pool of warm chocolate. Phil wrapped a blanket around his shoulders. Phil held him close as he shook. Phil was there, Phil was always there, always there when the words failed, always there to fill in the blanks.

"I know, bear, I know."


End file.
